A Million Reasons Why You Won't Succeed: What Other Coaches Probably Won't Tell You and A Sober Note On Spitting Out the Kool-Aid

Did you know there are studies that have measured that marriage comes with financial and health benefits for both men and women on average, because hello double income is helpful inside capitalism??

Also, I want to note that it's important to question the gender essentialism in these studies. They don't account for queer marriage, or any queer partnerships like polyamorous relationships, and I'm pretty sure when they say "men" and "women" they mean "cishet men" and "cishet women."

The studies also don't seem to account for the relevance of our intersecting identities and how they impact the quality, health, and longevity of our lives like race, ability, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, etc.

One thing is for sure: being a single person (especially if you're a single parent) and starting your own business can be very risky and brave. Add on marginalized identities and it's even more risky and brave.

I don't plan on getting married anytime soon, but as a cishet white woman from an upper middle class background with a college degree, who has two parents who are still alive and can support me if/when shit hits the fan, and four siblings who I could potentially lean on if shit really, really hit the fan, I recognize that my whiteness grants me tremendously more access to the path of entrepreneurship...

...AND it’s still been a difficult, up and down journey. Also, because I’ve done a few “pivots” in terms of my focus in my business as of late, I've noticed this has impacted my income.

My entrepreneurial path started when I began typing up a blog about my climbing adventures called terra incognita series, which turned into Terra Incognita Media, a feminist response to the outdoor industry.

Feminist media (feminist anything) is extremely difficult to fund, and my favorite 501c3 non-profit feminist magazine, Bitch, just closed after 25 years of going strong. They were constantly fundraising, and I know they didn’t always meet their goals, especially over the last few years with the pandemic.

Within my coaching business in the last two years I've gone from Feminist Killjoy Business School to Vesta Business School. My coaching incorporates astrology, Polyvagal Theory, Attachment Theory, and somatics. I tend to work with creatives, coaches, therapists, healers, astrologers, and tarot readers because it’s folks who do healing work that often have the hardest time with money and feeling okay about charging good money for their work.

It’s often the healers and teachers in our society who have the least resources. Where is the healthcare? The benefits? The vacation time? The paid sick time off? And in this society while astrology and divinatory practices have become more mainstream there's still a strong stigma against divination of any kind.

I'm going to say something that you don't here coaches say (I haven't heard any coaches say this, actually):

There a lot of reasons why your business won’t succeed and thrive in this society of late-stage capitalism, when right-wing Christians are now advocating for and saying things like “white human rights” out loud.

It’s really important to be sober about our businesses because the cards are really stacked against us in this society when it comes to thriving as an entrepreneur (and by “us” I mean anyone who isn’t a cis white man).

We have been gaslit by society, and people like Sophia Amoruso, who coined the term “girlboss” - the calling card of white feminism - that if we just "hustle and grind," and "get our asses up and work," a la Kim Kardashian, we'll finally find success and be able to exhale and sip our margaritas on the beach.

But we know this is a lie. This is the myth of meritocracy and "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" that funded Jeff Bezos' trip to outer space.

Forbes reports that “only 2% of all venture capital goes to female founders, and just 0.2% of all venture funding goes to female founders of color, a rate that has barely budged in the four years since #MeToo and #TimesUp transformed the national dialogue.”

But do we even want venture capitalist money though? IS that the penultimate goal? It's not mine.

Charlotte Palermino, an esthetician who co-founded Dieux a skincare line, posted a reel about "girlboss," and Rewa Phansalkar commeted: "Also, let's talk about how we want to dismantle systems of capitalist patriarchy that create Venture Capital and 'positions of leadership' that concentrate wealth - girl or boy, we want #NoBoss.”

Why am i sharing all of this with you? Is it a total buzzkill? A totally feminist killjoy take?

But as a mindset and business coach shouldn’t I be cheering and ra-ra-ing and saying, "Yes! Look at all of these super successful women in business (as I list off girlboss outliers like Marie Forleo, Amy Porterfield, Rihanna, Kylie Jenner, and let's even throw Oprah and Beyonce in there because we love to compare our 24 hours in a day to Oprah's and Beyonce's because our days look exactly the same, right?!)"

Shouldn't I be saying, "Look at ME! YOU can do it too!"

But no, I won't be polluting your eyes or ears with a sentiment that totally lacks complexity and nuance.

Truth be told that’s exactly what I heard when I when I was building Terra Incognita Media and my coaching business. I invested in a sales group coaching program and a coach who was basically saying, “Look at me I had exponential sales and you can too! Here's the magic formula!”

While many coaches want you to drink the kool-aid of believing that you can manifest exponential sales in a very short amount of time or whatever other wild claims they state, let’s be sober about the fact that any kind of worthy creative process or entrepreneurial endeavor *takes time.*

AND that we need to seriously reconsider what we're measuring as our "markers of success." Because if we're doing business from an anti-capitalist approach how we measure our success will be very different than say...Mark Zuckerberg or Elon Musk...

Sure, there are a million reasons why you won't succeed, but there are a million reasons why you WILL succeed when you re-define success on your own terms.

What do we do when the cards are stacked against us? Do we just throw in the towel? Are we royally fucked and should all just give up now?

No, that is definitely NOT what I'm saying.

I’m saying all of this so that we can approach our work, creative practices, and our sacred callings in life with less gaslighting, less absurd expectation, more ease, more flow, more acceptance, and maybe even more pleasure.

Maybe we can access these things and more when we release all of the shame and guilt that comes with not making it on a 30 under 30 list.

This is why I created Healing Through the Second House, which is currently open for registration.

Drawing from Somatics and being a certified Trauma of Money facilitator, in this 8 week live workshop series I'll teach you the foundations of healing your relationship with the themes of the second house (money, resources, self-worth, and assets).

One of the biggest barriers I see for creative, witchy entrepreneurs and healers is an issue that lies under the surface.

When we think of starting a business or starting anything like a painting or writing project, a podcast, etc. there’s something deeper that keeps us from starting and finishing. It’s emotional, spiritual, psychological, and mental. Often, it’s connected to trauma, our attachment tendencies, and our nervous system.

If you’ve ever been scared to launch a project, to post on social media, to charge money for your work, to make the sale, to do the damn thing, positive affirmations in the mirror won’t solve your problem.

And you can have all the tried and true sales strategies in the world and they won't do any good if you're not internally well-resourced and regulated.

Your nervous system is only concerned with keeping you safe and there’s a whole lot about building a business that registers as DANGER. While it may seem like self-sabotage if you procrastinate, fail to send that email, or put off going live on Instagram for a third time this week, it's really just your system keeping you safe. And that's fucking rad.

Instead of guilting and shaming yourself into getting shit done and making an income in your business, there is a way that can feel more easeful and grounded and centered.

If you are yearning to shift out of patterns that don't get you any closer to your goals, and you want to heal your relationship with money, and cultivate a more *embodied* anti-capitalist approach to your creative projects and business goals then this is the program for you!

We aren’t meant to do this work alone. Inside Healing Through the Second House you'll have access to like-minded community who will be alongside you every step of the way. Being in community and co-regulating is so healing and nourishing for our nervous systems!

So whatcha waiting for? Reserve your spot here!

Early bird pricing goes until Thursday, July 14th at midnight CT.

Pay in full and donate to the scholarship fund to receive a BONUS 1:1 session with me! You can do that by clicking here!

There are FOUR pay-what-you-can spots available for BIPOC only!

Need a scholarship or extended payment plan? No prob! Email me at erin@erinkmonahan.com

Reserve your spot today.

Questions? Hit reply to this email or DM me on Insta!

I’m so excited to support you on this journey

Your feminist killjoy bestie,
Erin