Financial and Sexual Well-Being are Interconnected: Good Sex and Orgasms, in This Economy?

Did you know that our financial wellbeing is tied to our sexual health? 

This oppressive, capitalist economic system that we live within impacts our ability to experience good sex and have orgasms.

Who knew?!

Well, Kristen R. Ghodsee wrote a whole book about it titled, Why Women Have Better Sex Under Socialism: And Other Arguments for Economic Independence.

“When women feel secure, in their lives economically, socially, they don’t have to choose partners they don’t like. They don’t have to have sex that they’re not attracted to. It’s not that complicated. It makes a lot of sense. It’s not rocket science," writes Ghodsee.

And she's right! It's absolutely not rocket science.

For those of us who are attuned to the impacts of capitalism and white supremacy we viscerally understand this connection.

This immediately brought up for me victims/survivors of intimate partner violence, as well as sex work. I fall in the former category and I know from personal experience that if you're not financially independent it makes it incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to leave a dangerous situation/person.

In terms of sex work, I'm not as educated on the ins and outs of this topic, so please correct me if I say anything that's off base.

I do want to say that sex work is work. Sex work deserves to be treated like any other job: with dignity, safety, and equitable pay.

However, this is unfortunately not the case in our society. Sex work isn't a new thing. It's been around for...forever. And it has the ability to heal.

I learned from this Reddit post that there are 3 types of sex work: trafficked, survival, and voluntary.

Trafficked sex workers are being forced into it and it's non-consensual. This is absolutely wrong and horrific and must be stopped. 

Survival sex workers do this work because they're not in an economic position to do something else. They really don't have another choice.

Voluntary sex work choose to engage in this work, often have higher education, and can often create boundaries and safety within their work.

In our society sex work is devalued, criminalized, stigmatized, surveilled and targeted by cops and state legislatures, and sex workers often don't come forward with their stories of abuse or assault if they've endured this kind of harm for fear of being shamed or jailed. Sex workers often operate in unsafe locations to avoid stigma, cops, and surveillance making this job extremely dangerous.

We can see that if women and marginalized genders were more financially independent they wouldn't have to resort to survival sex work and thus, have sex with people they like and enjoy. They could also put more boundaries and safety measures in place if they wanted to continue doing sex work, but voluntarily. With financial independence comes the freedom of no longer being subjected to having sex with people they don't choose.

"If all persons were provided with a quality K-12 education, safe neighborhoods, real economic options other than minimum wage work, affordable housing, and help rather than criminalization, what kind of choices would we see people making? What would truly free choice look like when it comes to sex work?" writes Kayla Pritchard.

If women and marginalized genders were financially independent they also would have less chances of being trafficked. 

"Poverty is one of several factors that make individuals vulnerable to trafficking. While trafficking victims come from a range of backgrounds, including from economically privileged families, trafficking is linked inextricably with people with a lack of resources, notably job opportunities. Living in poverty is a harsh reality to escape from and people become desperate enough to enter into fraudulent employment schemes or be deceived into prostitution. Traffickers target people who have few economic opportunities and those struggling to meet basic needs." - U.S. Catholic Sisters Against Human Trafficking (I'm not sure about this organization, but hey, it looks like maybe the Catholic Church is doing *something* right??)

My mind also immediately went to the fact that if you're in a better position financially you're less likely to experience sexual violence. It turns out that "poverty is among the root causes of sexual violence" according to Pennsylvania Coaltion Against Rape (PCAR).

It's a Black Mirror reality that survival sex work can actually sometimes show up in our relationships, particularly if you're heterosexual.

Ghodsee shares in this podcast episode about how she was hanging out with a married friend one night. She overheard her friend arguing with her husband about money. She was a stay-at-home mom and the husband didn't like the idea of her spending money on anything aside from the movie and dinner, but she wanted to have a little extra money to spend on buying some make-up too. He gave her just enough for dinner and a movie. When it came time to pay the bill, Ghodsee said she'd pay for dinner. Her friend responded, "Okay, thank you, I'll have sex with my husband tomorrow and I'll pay you back."

This is absolutely terrifying that women are in situations like this where they're being controlled by their spouses. This is a form of financial abuse. Don't even get me started on the devaluing of domestic labor and childrearing. 

It all makes me incredibly grateful to be bisexual and no longer interested in dating men. Yes, actually, the whole point of this is to encourage you to be gay.

Here’s another reason why women and marginalized genders have better sex when they’re financially independent. We can all probably relate to the fact that when you're exhausted from working and stressed about paying your bills, you're not going to have the energy to romp around in the sheets. Or couch. Or kitchen table. Or wherever you like to get real freaky naughty.

This idea of financial independence = better sex and more orgasms isn't a new idea. If you've ever read Black feminist thought you've already come to understand these connections deeply.

As I was researching this topic I came across this incredible educator, sociologist, and feminist thinker, Khadija Mbowe. In this video essay, she discusses the problems with women holding wealth as a pre-requisite for "deserving pussy" as Cardi B says. As much as I love that song, I love Mbowe's incisive critique more.

What do you think about all of this? Have any of your intimate and/or sexual experiences been unintentionally transactional? Does any of this surprise you? Enrage you? Motivate you? Sadden you?

Sending you ALL my feminist killjoy love,
Erin

P.S. I'll be talking about this all in more depth in some upcoming video lessons inside Anti-Capitalist Money Club. You won't want to miss them! I invite you to join us for the conversation!